How to Start (With Examples)
The first message should be easy to reply to and leave room to go further, or not. Flirty beats graphic.
"I can't stop thinking about the other night."
"What are you wearing right now? Be honest 😏"
"I just got out of the shower and my mind's wandering…"
"Can I tell you what I've been imagining all day?"
And openers that usually fall flat:
"send pics"Demanding, and the fastest way to get blocked.
A fully explicit opener out of nowhereSkips the build-up that makes sexting fun, and can feel like pressure.
How to Build It Up
Once you're both in, the trick is specifics, senses and questions. Describe what you'd do, what it would feel like, then hand the turn back to them.
Describe, don't list
"If you were here I'd pull you onto the couch and take my time kissing your neck."
Ask questions
"Tell me what you'd want me to do first."
"Slow or rough tonight?"
Use the anticipation
"Next time I see you, you're not leaving until morning."
Compliment specifically
"That photo from Saturday has been living in my head rent-free."
Keep messages short and sent in a rhythm. A wall of text is a lot less sexy than three quick lines.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start sexting someone?
Start with flirting you'd be comfortable saying out loud, then ask a playful question that invites them to go further, like "what would you do if I was there right now?" If they match your energy, build it up. If they don't, keep it light.
What should I say when sexting?
Be specific and sensory: what you want, what you'd do, how something feels. Ask questions so it's a conversation, not a monologue. Short messages sent in a rhythm work better than long paragraphs.
Do I have to send pictures?
No. Plenty of great sexting is words only. Only send a photo if you both want to, and never send one nobody asked for.
How do I sext without it being awkward?
Match their pace, use your normal voice rather than porn-script lines, and don't be afraid of a bit of humour. Checking in ("do you like that?") is sexy, not awkward.
Is sexting legal?
Sexting between consenting adults is legal in most places. It is never legal with anyone under 18, and sharing someone's intimate images without their consent is a crime in many countries.